


thanking you today, because of you, I am now me

by TheSpaceHairAndTheSpaceIdiot



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 18:18:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1276194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpaceHairAndTheSpaceIdiot/pseuds/TheSpaceHairAndTheSpaceIdiot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt stared at his reflection in the mirror, cataloguing every minute detail he hadn't bothered to notice before. There were lines starting to form on his face, he'd started finding his first grey hairs not too long ago, and his eyes – they were definitely showing the age and weariness that four years as the Doctor tended to give a person, but they also shined bright with happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	thanking you today, because of you, I am now me

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from John Butler Trio's song "Fool For You". Hope you enjoy!

Matt stared at his reflection in the mirror, cataloguing every minute detail he hadn't bothered to notice before. There were lines starting to form on his face, he'd started finding his first grey hairs not too long ago, and his eyes – they were definitely showing the age and weariness that four years as the Doctor tended to give a person, but they also shined bright with happiness. Because Matt was happy. Life was good, good in ways he never would have imagined when taking on the job. Parts of his life that never would have happened if he hadn't been cast in the role. Maybe he was upset and sad over what today would bring but he also knew – hoped – that it would bring the greatest joy to his life. 

Discreetly, he patted his pocket, checking to make sure the little velvet box he'd put inside was still securely in place. He wouldn't put it passed himself to forget it or drop it unexpectedly, so he kept checking every few minutes. He would die of mortification if he got down on one knee at the end of the day only to find the ring missing.

Satisfied that it was still in place, Matt looked back up into his reflection, staring at himself once more. 

It was strange to see just how much he'd changed, now that he cared to actually look. His face no longer held the same degree of babyishness that had made him look so young when he first started. No longer was he the young, naïve nobody he had been when this whole thing had started. Now he was thirty, almost thirty-one. More mature, more appreciative of what he'd been handed in life. He'd made a name and a legacy for himself that most people could only dream of, he had a decent sum of money sitting in the bank, and-

“You all right there, darling?”

Alex. He had Alex.

Whipping around, he plastered a grin on his face as he looked at her. She'd only flown in that morning to be with him on his final day of shooting and the past three weeks since they'd seen each other had been agonizing. While he knew separations like that would always be unavoidable because of the very nature of their jobs, Matt hoped his plans for later that afternoon would help to limit them to some degree. 

“Yeah, I'm all right. Just thinking.”

Walking over to him, Alex wrapped her arm around his waist from behind and stood up on her tiptoes to stick her chin on his shoulder, staring at his reflection in the mirror. “About what exactly?”

He turned his head to kiss her temple quickly before looking back to meet her gaze in the mirror in front of them. “About today. About leaving. Everything that's changed in the last few years. Kinda hard to believe, you know?”

“I know, darling, believe me I know,” she sighed happily, tilting her head slightly into his and he could see her soft smile light up the face of her reflection. “But how are you feeling about today?”

“A bit sad, yeah,” he answered truthfully. “Told you, I cried like a baby in Steven's arms at the end of the read through. I mean, this role has been my life since it started. It's hard to give it up. I don't really want to but...it's the right time. I know it is. I want to do other things, make a name for myself apart from the Doctor, I'd like to direct some more, have a bit more time to myself, time with you and Sal and my family.”

Alex hummed happily. “Yes, it will be nice to not have you here in Cardiff so much anymore.”

“And I know we haven't really talked about it,” he started, feeling his nerves start to act up for what he knew would not be the last time that day, “but now that I'm finished, we could...go public...if you want?”

Alex's eyes widened and if the situation weren't so important, and if his stomach hadn't been doing somersaults, he may have laughed at the picture she made. “Matt – are you sure?”

He frowned. “It was never me that wanted to keep it a secret in the first place, you know that, Alex.”

“Well, yes, but... are you _sure_? I mean the studio-”

“I don't give a toss what the studio thinks anymore!” he said vehemently. “Once 'cut' is called on my final scene later, I'm no longer under contract and I don't have to give a damn about what they want me do do any longer. They wanted to keep my personal life out of the tabloids while I was still in the role, they didn't want people saying it was all just a publicity stunt to stir up interest in the Doctor and River, they didn't want the whole crew getting distracted and nosy about us - I get all that. But after today, we don't need to keep it quiet anymore. We can go public. We can go out _in_ public. I can walk down the street and hold your hand or kiss you and there's no one to tell me not to anymore.” 

He turned suddenly, twisting out of her grip only to reverse their positions, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and buried his face in her curls, inhaling her wonderful scent. “I want the world to know you mine, Alex, and that I'm yours. I'm sick of keeping the best thing in my life a secret,” he finished before brushing a kiss against her neck.

Her breath hitched slightly as she tilted her head to the side in order to give his mouth more room, which he gladly took advantage of. “It  _ will _ be nice not having to watch our every word about each other in public, won't it?”

Matt snorted. “Like you were every any good at that!”

She gasped softly in mock outrage. “I was too! I never gave anything away!”

Brushing a tendril of hair away from her neck, Matt smiled into her skin. “Oh yeah? 'He's got great butt cheeks?' 'A very large heart, among other things?' 'I've been in his bathroom?' Oh, and my favorite-”

“All right, all right, you win!” she exclaimed with a laugh which turned quickly into a gasp of pleasure as his teeth grazed over the sensitive spot on her neck. “But you haven't exactly been subtle yourself, you know! With all your 'I love Alex Kingston' and that remark about me making the costumes look sexy instead of the other way around!”

“Hey, we weren't even together for that last one! I was still desperately trying to get you to notice me back then!” 

“Oh I noticed you all right,” she laughed, grinning at him through the mirror. “I noticed your deliciously long fingers and that adorable arse of yours in those tight trousers!”

“Hey, my arse is not adorable!” Matt protested, pulling back from her neck to glare indignantly at her. “It's manly and sexy and – and-”

“Adorable,” she giggled. “Trust me, I'd know.”

Matt pouted.

“And anyway, then there was Comic Con this summer, with that whole courtesy email nonsense and referring to me as your wife – obviously you were referring to the Doctor and River, but really, darling, if anything was going to start the rumor mill up, it would have been that!”

Matt forced out a laugh, even as his stomach churned violently at the mention of that particular slip of the tongue. At the time of that interview, he'd already decided to ask her to marry him, already thought of how he planned to ask her, already bought the ring now sitting in his pocket, even. It had been on his mind so much that when the opportunity to let something slip, just to see how she'd react to the barest hint of the idea, he hadn't been able to resist. Of course, she'd barely mentioned it, only briefly to poke fun at him, and even now didn't seem to be giving the matter a great deal of thought, not knowing how those words had tumbled from his mouth as a form of wish fulfillment, in anticipation for the day – today hopefully – where she'd agree to take on such a title.  _ His wife. _

“I guess we've both been pretty awful at keeping things a secret. I mean we managed it, but with all the hints we've both let slip, just barely, yeah?” he grinned at her, feeling a sense of happiness and peace steel over him at the thought of all the secrecy finally coming to a close.

She giggled softly. “We'll just have to find the right way to come out to the media and the rest of the public later on. Any ideas?”

“Oh, one or two,” he chuckled lightly, thinking of how he had let both his mother and Karen in on his plans for later and with instruction for them to catch both pictures and video of the spectacle he was only a few hours out from making of himself. “But we can talk about that later.”

“Yes, let's just get you through this last scene, all right? We'll worry about the future later. One major life event at a time.”

Outwardly, Matt voiced his agreement with her, but on the inside,  _ two _ major life changes were soaring through his head and his heart, filling with him sadness, fear, anxiety, happiness, and excitement all at once and it was all very conflicting.

All too soon, they both heard the tell-tale knock on the trailer door, heralding his call to set. 

“Ready, darling?” Alex asked and she gave him a once-over, straightening his bow tie and combing his the hair of his wig into place with her fingers.

Matt thought her question over for a moment. Was he ready? Moving on from the show that had essentially been his home for so long, going on to other projects without the knowledge he'd soon be back in Cardiff with his tweed and bow tie was going to be difficult. He'd always miss it. But honestly, even just getting to finally make his and Alex's relationship public knowledge was enough to convince him this had been the right choice. Being the Doctor had enriched his life in so many way, the biggest of which was the woman standing before him. He was definitely more than ready to finally make her his  _ permanently _ and to let the world know it.

He took a deep breath, glanced once more at his reflection in the mirror, and noted that despite the chin, he quite liked what he saw in the mirror, even if only because of the the sight of Alex standing next to him. “Yeah, I'm ready. Let's do this.”

It was several long, emotional hours later, after he'd filmed the different bits of his final scene with Karen and Jenna and the actual blip of a regeneration, after he'd given Steven and Jenna and the rest of the crew a few minutes to congratulate and hug him and tell him how much he'd be missed, that Matt shot a meaningful look towards his mum and Karen, signaling for them to get started on their very important jobs, and pulled Alex over to the center of the set. Her face glazed over with love and adoration as he gave the short speech he'd planned, thanking her for every ounce of happiness she'd brought to his life. 

When he actually dropped to his knees, pulled the surprisingly still present ring from his pocket, and asked the question that a part of him always knew he'd end up asking her, her eyes filled with tears. She struggled for a few moments, lost in a daze of surprise, to find the words to answer, eventually landing on the simple yes he'd hoped and anticipated hearing for so long.

It was to loud cheers of surprised congratulations and applause from the crowd of mostly unsuspecting cast and crew, that Matt rose to his feet and pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss. He forgot about the people standing around them, happy for them and making a show of ensuring they showed it, about his mother taking intermittent pictures even as she'd burst into tears, about Karen standing next to her and filming the entire thing, and about Steven, the only other person in the room who'd even known the two of them were together. He focused only on Alex, on pouring all the happiness he had within him into their kiss and wiping the happy tears from her face, not caring at all about those staining his own cheeks.

Deciding how exactly to come out to the public later on was really a rather easy decision, as Matt had hoped it would be. His mother of course had been the first one to tweet out the picture of Matt on his knees proposing to a surprised Alex who had her hands covering her mouth, followed quickly by Karen with one of their celebratory kiss, which of course, coupled with the news of his final episodes being completed simultaneously, sent both the media and the fans into meltdowns. 

The video, of course, somehow managed to work it's way onto the internet within a matter of weeks and while they stayed in the spotlight for quite some time before the hype started to die down, Matt simply couldn't be happier that after all this time, he could finally take Alex's now diamond-clad hand into his own without having to worry about lying or deflecting any longer. Alex knew just how much he loved her and now the rest of the world did too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to get back in the game after several weeks of not writing anything, so I asked for prompts on tumblr and this was the result of attempting to fill the first one. ("All the 'proof' we've seen is real and the reason why Matt was silent until he was leaving was because the studio wanted to totally hide it" - victoriantardis)


End file.
